Dumb Stuff in Comicbook Movies: Vol 2.

Last time I wrote about how DC have been fucking up their characters on film since the 1970s (Man of Steel wasn’t the first film to get Superman all wrong).

This time around I’m going to have a moan about a trope that has thankfully died out but was over used and bloody stupid while it lasted…

Flamin’ Superhero Logos

For the best part of 20 years, shittier comic book movie directors have soiled their pants over the idea of having the hero intimidate their foes with a version of their logo that’s on fire.

My earliest memory of this trope was in The Crow (1994). Now I’m gonna give this one a pass. It was a solid comic book film in a decade littered with shite comic flicks like Judge Dredd, Steel, Batman and Robin, Barb Wire, Spawn, and Dick Tracy. It was the first to do it and it also works in the context of the film.

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On a related note, there was a sequel starring a chubby, tired lookin’, goth John Connor in the titular role. If there was a burning bird in that one, I’d be less forgiving. Look at this straight to DVD bullshit!

No Wonder the T-800 lowered himself into the lava; he’s seen the future and it would seem that there’s a worse fate than surviving a Robopocalypse.

The next film to employ the fire intimidation tactic was The Mask of Zorro (1998). Was that film any good? Who cares! It’s not based on a comic so let’s move on!

Daredevil (2003)

Before pulling on a big black rubber suit and murdering a bunch of people whose mothers were (presumably) not called Martha, Ben Affleck pulled on a crimson leather suit and murdered people as Daredevil.

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After throwing a man onto train tracks and “watching” as the C-Train turns him into two half men, Daredevil takes the time to perfectly recreate his DD brand in lighter fluid on the subway platform. Sure he’d just killed a man, traumatized a train driver and ruined the day of a few train carriages worth of passengers, but branding is important. Did he light it himself? Nope! The silly bastard relied on the fact that Ben Urlich would know to throw his cigarette on precisely that spot for dramatic effect.

How did that DD logo survive a few dozen cops, several paramedics, and at least one reporter stomping all over it? How did Ben know to throw his ciggy at that bit of the platform? How did he throw it in such way that it ignited the fluid? Maybe Urlich was also exposed to radioactive chemicals and has heightened senses too.

The Punisher (2004)

The Punisher is known for murdering baddies in grandiose ways. He likes to make a statement to strike fear into the hearts of evil doers. That said, who the hell is this for? Was there a passing helicopter that he really wanted to send a message to?

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Frank Castle spent weeks planning John Travolta’s demise and part of that planning was to ruin a carpark full of innocent people’s cars so he could have his burning skull. Sure he needed to protect the world from the dangers of Scientology but this is just overkill.

Fantastic Four (2005)

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Fine… you get a pass because you have a fire guy on the team. NEXT!

Ghost RiderSpirit of Vengeance (2011)

No, we didn’t get a flamin’ GR logo but I just wanted to include this Gif of Ghost Rider pissing fire.

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The Dark Knight Rises (2012)

I have many problems with this film. Not only does it retroactively ruin the first 2 films with its shitty plot holes, it has a flamin’ Bat logo 8 years after the shittier Marvel films had stopped doing it.

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Here we have Batman, returning to Batmanning after quitting due to a sore knee (those 6 months of Batmanning the first time around were tough).

He returns to Gotham, its police force in the sewer, nuclear bomb being paraded around, villains getting their Purge on, back still healing, and his knee still fucked. Before doing anything to help Gotham, he climbs up a bridge and paints a bat logo in petrol on the bloody thing. Not the best use of your time and energy, Bruce. Surely you have a spare Batsignal mothballed somewhere in Gotham.

Maybe watching The Mask of Zorro right before watching Thomas and Martha (Why did you say that name!?) were killed didn’t just inspire his vigilantly ways, maybe he really liked that scene with the big burning “Z”.


Hopefully we’ve seen the last of this nonsense but if writing this pointless rant has taught me anything, it’s that Empire Ink needs a fire logo to instill fear into the hearts of Evil Doers…

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