Funkopop feud: Superhero Super bowl

What do you do when you have an excessive amount of Funko Pops, an audience, and a love of geeky debates? I don't know about you but we at Empire Ink decided to ask people who would win in a series of battles.

Since early this year, we've been having our Funkopop feuds. They've been a lot of fun. Then, during the World Cup, Alex had the great idea of having our own tournament. We put together a list of Heroes in our collection and pitted them in a series of elimination battles.

The rules are simple: "In a coliseum, with only the powers and weapons they would normally have on them, who wins the fight?" Basically, I envisioned the heroes being teleported into an arena, identifying their opponent as a threat, and dealing with the threat in a way that was in keeping with their character and power-set.

I worded it that way mainly because of Batman. People are forever justifying Batman wins by saying he can beat anyone given enough time to prepare. By the same token, Batman will always try to incapacitate rather than kill.

It has been a tonne of fun. Every day the entire Empire Team (and our clients for that day) have debated how the fight would go. We've also enjoyed watching the results unfold... even though we've not always agreed. For example:

Deadpool

Deadpool is a bloody great character. Issue 11 of his original run in the 90s is my all time favourite comic. If you like the character but haven't read those first 11 comics, I wholeheartedly recommend you get your hands on them and have a good read.  He's a lot of fun because he can be brought close to death and will joke it off whilst he heals. That said, even though he's near impossible to kill, that doesn't mean he won't lose a fight.

Deadpool is currently in the semi-finals. It looks like he may have met his match with Thor but he went up against Vision and Silver Surfer in his previous rounds and won... Infinity Gem powered Vision and herald of Galactus, Silver freakin' Surfer, got beaten by a bloke that can punch well, shoot guns, and heal quick.

Here's how the fight should have gone down:

Even if Deadpool was reduced to a head, he would heal... but would the spectators really hang around for several days whilst he healed? Even if they did, what's to stop Vision from blasting the body parts as they reformed? At some point a winner needs to be declared.

The Yoda Paradox

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Yoda has been another strange one. I love Star Wars. Yoda's appearance in The Last Jedi is a large part of why I love that film (even with its questionable Rose and Finn subplot) but to suggest that he could beat Scarlet Witch, Cyborg, and least likely of all, Superman, is bloody crazy talk.

It was a close battle but if anyone can convincingly explain to me how Yoda can possibly scratch Superman, let alone beat him in a fight, I will eat my favourite hat. I'm not kidding... I will pull the cap off my head, slather it in sauce, then gobble it down as if I was on death row and the hat was my last meal.

What does Yoda have to fight with? First up, the lightsaber. As I explained in a previous blog, Lightsabers are bloody mint but even if they can cut through most metals, they aren't cutting through the Man of Steel.
Next we have the Jedi mind trick. The ability to influence the weak minded would be handy when being asked about droids by a pair of poorly trained stormtroopers but you can't tell me that an advanced Kryptonian mind could be even slightly influenced by a parlor trick that doesn't even work on a Hutt or a junk dealing Jewish stereotype?
Lastly, Yoda can hurl a bunch of crap at Superman using the force. Yoda can throw rocks, an X-Wing, or even a star destroyer (if non-cannon expanded universe is to be believed) at Superman. None of that would even slow Supes down.

Remember Superman II? You know, that one where Superman kissed Lois Lane and made her forget that he and Clark Kent were the same bloke? I think Superman could use a combo of his superspeed and some amnesiac lip service to snog away all of Yoda's Jedi training... fight's over, Yoda loses.

This is one of 200 ways that Superman could destroy Yoda.

So why did Yoda win? We've been writing off anomalies to popularity but Superman is one of the most iconic characters of all time. I can't be arsed researching this but I'm sure that, at one point, the Superman logo was more well known than the bloody MacDonalds's M logo. I guess people just have a soft spot for super powered Muppets that speak in broken English.

This weekend is the finals of the Superhero Super Bowl but the Supervillain Super Bowl will be starting in a few weeks. Will the Joker beat Thanos? Only time will tell but if he does, I can see another headwear based snack coming my way. -Baz

Ross Opens His Diary

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Ross has been a great addition to the Empire Ink. He's a top bloke to work with and, day after day, he's produced quality tattoos in his smooth black and grey realistic style.

His Diary has been close since starting here due to his long waiting list but he's now ready to open it. We're having an Open Day on the 26th of August between 12pm and 6pm. There's only limited bookings available so fill out our booking form HERE during the open day to get yourself one of Ross' sweet tattoos.

Check out some of Ross' more recent pieces below to get yourself some inspiration.


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Geek Science Presents: Ant-Man and the Wasp

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Ant-Man and the Wasp has finally hit cinemas here in the UK and Ireland. After an agonising wait of 5 weeks (allegedly because of the World Cup), 66% of the Empire Ink crew got to see it at a midnight screening last night. I bloody loved it but I have some crap to get off my chest.

We all had a great time with it but whilst I was watching it, I kept wondering about how scientifically viable it all was. Now I'm willing to chalk up the basic concept to silly comicbook science but if you're going to establish a set of rules in your film universe, you should bloody well stick to them. You may say it doesn't matter and that I shouldn't be so obsessed with films about silly books with pictures. To that I say Shut up, Dad! It is bloody important! No, I don't wanna go outside and play football. No, reading comics doesn't make me less of a man! Yes, I will get laid one day, just you wait and see! ...er ...what was I saying?

Both the first Ant-Man and this new one are great films but they have elements that make no sense. I'll break this all down but I won't spoil anything from the new film that isn't in the first trailer. Spoiler alert for the first Ant-Man though. 

Darren Cross is a Stupid Prick

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Darren Cross, the evil "genius" from the first Ant-Man, had the cunning plan to re-create Hank Pym's technology to harness Pym Particles so he could mass-produce his own Ant-Man suits to sell to terrorists. He kept failing to make the shrinking technology work and would instead turn cute little lambs into bubbling piles of goo. Side note: if you work for Cross Technological Enterprises and didn't realise that your CEO is an evil dickhead after watching him repeatedly turn lambs into puss, you're a dumbarse and I'm glad your place of employment was destroyed!

He then uses it on a bloke that he had a minor disagreement with and reduces the guy to a bloody glob of jizz that can easily be disposed of with quick wipe of a spank-kerchief. Here's an idea, idiot, why don't you sell the raygun that turns people into snot to Hydra instead of a suit that makes them tiny? Hydra would jump at the chance to have an army of agents armed with goop guns. What easier way for them to achieve Red Skull and Hitler's final solution?*

Sure, it could be argued that Cross had gone a bit nuts due to his excessive exposure to the Pym Particles and he only cared about figuring out the secret of his former mentor. That said, you're a crap business man if you can't see the marketability of your accidentally created disintegration gun.

*We at Empire Ink in no way endorse the racist agendas of genocidal super-villains

Unprotected Exposure to Pym Particles Make you a Crazy Person

As touched upon in the previous section, it's established in the first Ant-Man film that if you get repeated direct exposure to Pym Particles, it erodes your brain. In the comic, it's the reason why Hank Pym beats his wife. Whilst it seems to make Hank Pym a bit of a grumpy tosser he clearly wants no harm to come to his wife in the film version. Grumpy ol' Hank makes it clear to Scott that the suit is needed to stop this brain damage.

In the sequel, Ant-Man Sr, Ant-Man Jr, and Wasp Jr are tooling about in a miniaturised van. What happened to needing the suits to avoid brain rot?  You can't tell me that an automobile (with the windows down no less) can provide the necessary protection. Maybe Disney wants to include spousal abuse in their next Ant-Man flick but I hope not: I like my good fun comicbook films to be largely devoid of domestic violence.

Regardless of Size, Mass stays the Same

The reason that an ant sized man can knock out a regular man is that he retains the mass of Paul Rudd sized man. Ignoring the fact that Ant-Man's density would probably create a black hole, this rule only seems to apply when a human is ant sized.

Carrying around a pocket sized tank would be pretty bloody challenging if it also retained the mass of a full sized tank. That keyring in the first film should be as difficult to lift a Thor's hammer. The second film sees our heroes dragging a building around like a suitcase...A FUCKING BUILDING! Good luck with that, morons. I guess hyper-intelligent characters shouldn't be written by simpletons but hey, it works for the show Big Bang Theory. 

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So maybe it's only organic material that retains its mass. Maybe you can lug a tank in your pocket as long as it looks like it was created by Matchbox. Plot hole explained, I can move on with my life and play football like my Dad always wanted me to... not bloody likely.

That would be all well and good if Scott Lang didn't also have the ability to grow to be Giant Man. There's no denying that half the movie going public soiled their undies when Ant-Man grew to the size of a small skyscraper in Captain America: Civil War. I myself had to apologise to the employees of Cineworld for the condition I left their seat after my first screening.  That scene would be way less impressive if Giant Man retained the mass of a Paul Rudd sized man. To watch him pathetically bat at his fellow superheroes in that airport wouldn't have the desired impact but it would be more in keeping of the rules of their universe.

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So what's a geek to do? Should I enjoy the fun film for what is and just accept sometimes dumb shit is going to happen in a film that's basic premise is a physics nightmare? Probably.
Am I going to? Not bloody likely.

All that said, shitty science aside, Ant-Man and the Wasp is a good fun film and you should see it in the cinema so we get more of them.

-Baz

James Gunn isn’t as bad as twitter is making out.

Back in 2008, I went back to Australia on holiday and caught up with me mate, Adam. Adam is a great guy with a beautiful family. We've been mates for years and have always shared a similar sense of humor and a love of Star Wars. As such, one of the first things we spoke about on this particular trip to Australia was the first Family Guy Star Wars Special. We both agreed it was good but Adam had a problem with the Obi Wan character being a pedophile. I didn't understand why he didn't find it funny but then I didn't have a kid. That was 10 years ago but I get it now.

Family Guy wasn't the only media making jokes about things that wouldn't be joked about now. You can watch any number of films or TV series from the 2000's and you'd be surprised by the number of homophobic, transphobic, pedophilic, or rape jokes that aired with little complaint. Check out this skit from The Whitest Kids U Know which aired on prime time TV about 10 years ago:

Good thing we've all evolved as a society since then and that we applaud anyone that has made the effort to better themselves... oh wait, we haven't.

10 years ago, James Gunn was a relatively unknown film maker. He'd made a few good films and had gained indy fame working with the great Lloyd Kaufman on Tromeo and Juliet. At the time, he was making a web series called PG Porn. PG Porn featured bestiality, misogyny, and manslaughter... it was actually pretty bloody funny...

...He was also posting tweets, for shock value, that made jokes about pedophilia. Now I'm a little disappointed by these tweets. Not because it's taboo subject (prime time TV were making similar jokes at the time) but because James Gunn is funnier than that.

6 years ago, James Gunn made a public apology for said tweets. Disney then hired him to helm a film about a largely unknown comic franchise featuring a talking raccoon and a sentient tree. He did an amazing job and the film was a huge success. He also made a sequel that may be my favourite modern film.

During this time, his twitter posts became largely about pointing out political problems (most recently about the thin skinned, tangerine bell-end, Trump). Last weekend, supporters of Trump dug up these old tweets to use as ammunition against the film maker. Mike Cernovich (a truly horrible man that has tweeted much worse himself), urged his followers to attend SDCC and give Gunn shit. Disney, fearing the backlash, behaved cowardly and distanced themselves from Gunn even though they absolutely had prior knowledge of the tweets in question.

This sets a couple of startling precedents. Firstly, what’s to stop the next dickhead from digging up old dirt on a celebrity that they disagree with politically and then ruining their career? Secondly, what incentive is there to better yourself if you can't escape your past?
-Baz

Geek Science Presents: Lightsabers Vs Cap's Shield

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Anyone that is following our Instagram page will be familiar with our #Funkopop Feuds. Picking questions each day is great fun and often leads to debates between everyone in Empire Ink that day (including our clients).

There has been a question going around the internet for the last few weeks that epitomises everything we at Empire Ink stand for. It's a great question that led to much debate. So we asked the question on our Instagram stories:

Could a Lightsaber cut through Captain America's Shield?

Depending on how you view each weapon, this seems pretty obvious: "You dumb bastard, of course it can. Lightsabers cut through everything" or "What are you, a moron? Cap's shield is indestructible"

55% of you voted on the side of lightsabers, which is a perfectly reasonable choice, but I'll explain why (like Brexit) the majority are incorrect. I base this argument on my many sexless, teenage years of reading both Marvel and Star Wars comics and books, and watching all of the films and cartoons. That said, if you think I'm wrong, book in for a tattoo here and we'll debate it in person.

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Lets look at the Lightsaber

Lightsabers are mint. What human in their right mind wouldn't want one? They can slice through anything! But can they? if you've been paying attention, they can't.

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First up we have these idiots: General Grievous' Magnaguards. Sure, the Jedi lopped their heads off with ease but could they cut their Electrostaffs? Apparently not. Both Obi Wan Kenobi and Anakin Skywalker hacked away at these bellend's staffs with little result. The reason being is that it's made from one of the few metals that lightsabers can't ruin, Phrik.

Phirik is an unbreakable metal in the Star Wars Universe that, once forged, can't be damaged. Pretty bloody handy metal to have in the Star Wars Universe. They probably should have made their robot bodies out of it rather than their fancy sticks.

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Next example, the First Order trooper commonly known as TR8R. He had the "Z6 Riot Control Baton". He easily defended against the lightsaber wielding Finn in Episode VII with nothing more than the Star Wars equivalent of a bloody nightstick. Sure, you can argue that Finn is a useless prick but it doesn't change the fact that he bashed away at a bloody baton with a lightsaber and only still lives because Han Solo shot TR8R in the head with Chewie's crossbow.

Why did this fancy Stormtrooper stick hold its own against a Lightsaber? It's made from a compound called Cortosis that can absorb and re-channel the energy from a lightsaber. If Snoke wasn't the silly prick he is (was?) he would have outfitted his entire army with armor made from this compound and not just their flippy sticks. I think I should have led the First Order and not that scabby dickhead; maybe the rag-tag group of rebels wouldn't be doing as well as they are.

Now we look at Captain America's Shield

"When Captain America throws his mighty shield.
Those who choose to oppose his shield must yield!"

Due to the ownership rights of the Marvel films, there's 2 versions of Captain America's shield. In the comics, Cap's shield is made from an alloy consisting of adamantium (Wolverine's bones) and vibranium (Black Panther's everything).

The adamantium has the same properties of Star Wars' Phirik metal. Once you make stuff out of it, that stuff ain't breaking. Would a lightsaber cut Wolverine in half the way it did Darth Maul? Don't be silly. Wolverine once survived a nuke. Wolverine was once shot in the balls by the Punisher with a rocket launcher. Sure, he probably had that ball ache that every bloke experiences when they get a sack-tap, but he's Wolverine, of course he got through.

The film version's shield is entirely Vibranium. That shit is the MCU magic metal that managed to keep Thanos and his minions at bay for a good chunk of the third act of Infinity War. It's basically the MCU version of Star Wars' Cortosis. It can absorb and re-channel energy. You think a saber that can't cut a shitty stormtropper weapon is holding up against that? I don't think so!

Not convinced? Here's a gif that shows Cap defending against Thor's Hammer in the first Avengers film. THOR'S BLOODY HAMMER! Do you really think that a glow stick is more powerful than a MAGICAL GOD HAMMER?!

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I rest my case!
-Baz

Rant-Man and the Wasp

...Or How Marvel Fans Were Screwed Over by the FIFA World Cup 2018

People all love the FIFA World Cup and nobody would have time to watch a 2 hour film with the rigorous football watching everyone will be doing. When your entire week is filled with 8 hours worth of people kicking balls, there is no way anyone can possibly fit in a fun romp about a tiny/huge bloke and his (more competent) flying, shrinking girlfriend.

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Balls are being kicked alright... and those are the figurative balls of every MCU fan in the United Kingdom.

The entire Empire Ink team is in love with the MCU. Even the weaker films bring us joy. Alex, Laura, and myself attend the opening night, midnight screening, for every Marvel release. Imagine our horror when we (as people that have zero love for football) discover that the rest of the world were getting the first MCU release (post Avengers: Infinity War) a full 5 weeks earlier... and the reason was football.

Apparently the powers that be thought that the box office would suffer if the film came out during the World Cup. Whilst I'm sure there is a cross section of the population that are both big fans of football and big fans of comicbook movies,  I doubt that it would be a big enough blip on the global box office to warrant shafting those of us that love these films. They released it in Brazil on the same weekend as the United States and murder is not out of the question when it comes to football and Brazil.  They are clearly more passionate than those of us in the UK (World Cup 1994).

So what's a geek to do? Well our solution was to look at the release schedule in the Republic of Ireland and fly there to watch the film. It was looking good! Vue Dublin had Ant-Man and the Wasp listed for release on the 28th of June. Alex and Laura were already going to be in Ireland for a wedding and I was going to fly over for the afternoon to watch the film. Crisis averted... but no, it turns out that Vue Dublin was working with outdated information. Our cunning plan had been foiled. The jocks (sports guys, not Scots) beat the nerds again.

So what do we do now? Do we completely avoid the internet as to not have the film spoiled, or do we fly to Australia to see it in a timely fashion? Both are ridiculous options! So we silently prey to Thor (the one true god) that we can make it to the 3rd of August without the surprises of the film being spoiled for us.

Here's a spoiler for you, Scotland isn't gonna win the World Cup (and England probably won't either)!

Have a look at how great this looks! Why would anyone wanna watch a bunch blokes kick a bag of air around when you can watch the glory that is a bloke growing to 65 feet?

-Baz

Watercolour Tattoos

We've had a new artist as part of the Empire Ink team for the last month, the lovely Kirsten Stevenson. Kirsten does (among other styles) lots of cute watercolour tattoos. She creates great pieces that look like they've been painted on the skin. Below is a few of her previous watercolour pieces.

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Kirsten has dozens of sweet designs available. Here's just a few of them but if you have a design in mind, she's happy to put one together for you.

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If you'd like to make a booking with Kirsten or any of our other artists, please click the link here and let us know what you are after.

E3 Rundown: Part Two - Everything Else

There were tonnes of other cool looking games announced at E3 and whist they don't currently have a release date, they are definitely worth getting excited about.

The Last of Us: Part II (PS4)

I doubt there's anyone that played the first The Last of Us and isn't excited for this one (well... except for homophobes). The first game was a masterpiece and this one, boosted by the graphical power of the PS4, looks to be a worthy sequel. We can't wait.

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Alex has this awesome The Last of Us half sleeve design that he's dying to tattoo. It could be adapted for another body part if you were interested. Make a booking here to get this spectacular design.

 

Cyberpunk 2077 (PC, PS4, XBOne)

This new IP looks like its set in a future that's a cross between Back to the Future Part II and Blade Runner. How can you go wrong with that?

Rage 2 (PC, PS4, XBOne)

The first Rage was a blast; a massive game spread over 3 discs. Between Fallout 76, Doom Eternal, and this, Bethesda had an awesome showing.

Assassin’s Creed Odyssey (PC, PS4, XBOne)

Assassin's Creed games are often hit or miss. When they're good, they're awesome but at their worst, they are stupidly buggy. Here's hoping this is an awesome one.

Doom Eternal (PC, PS4, XBOne)

Doom, one of the first games that parent groups protesting and the game that gave the world PvP FPS. All of the Doom games since have been phenomenal so here's hoping that this one is more like them and nothing like the film based on them.

Halo Infinite (XBOne)

The last Halo game was a bit of a let down but I still have faith in the Halo franchise. The hours I've spent playing Halo games are uncountable.

Alex has been working on a Masterchief/Cortana design that would be amazing for any Holo fans out there

Shadow of the Tomb Raider (XBOne)

Since XBox got the exclusivity of the Tomb Raider licence the newer Tomb Raider games have been amazing. In this age of multiplayer gaming, it's great that there's still some classic single player gameplay coming out.

There were many other amazing looking games at this year's E3 but we're a tattoo studio and these are just the one's we'll be talking about as you're getting tattooed.

E3 Rundown – Part One: Upcoming Releases

The entire team here at Empire Ink big gamers. After a long day of tattooing, there’s no better way to relax than spending a few hours murdering aliens on either the XBox, PlayStation, Nintendo, or PC (we have no bias here). As such, news about a big new gaming release gets us itching to get a control pad in our hands.

E3 is here again and this is the most excited we’ve been about about an E3 for years. This year’s line-up looks bloody great too. After a bit of a gamming drought, the end of this year is shaping to kill many gamer’s sex lives.

I’ll do my best to order these in release order but game developers are forever changing release dates.

Destiny 2: Forsaken (XBOne, PS4, and PC)

September 4th 2018

First up we have a big story update for Destiny 2. AlexLaura, and myself have been playing Destiny 2 since its release. This time around, it looks like our favourite character, Cayde-6, is going to meet his demise. Fans at E3 erected a shrine to honour poor old Cayde but we’re hoping that Cayde-6’s death is a misdirect because what will we do without Cayde’s humorous banter (voiced by the awesome Nathan Fillion). Either way, there will be great new weapons and armour to play with.

Both Alex and Laura have Cayde-6 tattoos booked in the diary so keep a look out for them in the future.

Spider-Man (PS4)

September 7th 2018

September is gearing up to be awesome. Any semblance of a social life will go out the window once this comes out. With Arkham style combat and a swinging/web system that looks wonderfully fluid, this one has me more excited than any other game in recent history. Obviously we are massive Spider-Man/Marvel fans here at Empire Ink but even without the Spider-Man licence, this looks slick. Check out this gameplay trailer and try not to get drool on your phone/keyboard.

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The new look costume with the white spider is really cool looking. That said, if you’re after something a little more retro, there’s going to be a number of different skins so you can swing about the massive city dressed as your favourite wall crawler.

Alex still has this design based on this Spider-Man game available for tattooing. If you’d like to book this design (or any other sweet video game inspired tattoo), make a booking here.

Red Dead Redemption 2 (XBOne and PS4)

October 26th 2018

After (hopefully) getting Spider-Man and Destiny 2: Forsaken finished, this monster of a game drops. It wasn’t really featured that much at E3 so I’ll link the latest trailer. If you’ve played the first, you know what to expect but this time around it’s getting a GTA V style multiplayer system.

With Rockstar North (the developer) being based in Edinburgh, we tattoo a few of their employees. Alas, they are all very tight lipped and we have no insider information.

Fallout 76 (XBOne, PS4, and PC)

November 14th 2018

Pull on your blue and yellow jumpsuit, strap on a Pip-Boy, and get ready to venture into the post-apocalyptic wasteland surrounding Vault 76. I liked Fallout 4. I know others that weren’t as happy with it but Fallout 4 took the parts that made Fallout 3 fun and added a nifty building system. I spent way too much time putting together my crap covered base; this looks to expand on that. If nothing else, it’s gonna have mutated killer sloths… I’m on board with mutated killer sloths.

Just Cause 4 (XBOne, PS4, and PC)

December 4th 2018

The previous Just Cause games were a lot of fun. Sure their physics are a little silly with your grappling hook slamming you to the ground faster than if you fall (yet somehow saving your life) but that made for enjoyable, frantic gameplay. I spent a silly amount of time in Just Cause 3 putting wee rockets to the bottom of porta-potties and launching them into the air. Hopefully this one has new toys and the explosive mayhem that made its predecessors so much fun.

Resident Evil 2 Remake (XBOne, PS4, and PC)

January 25th 2019

January is usually a dull month after the pre-Christmas gaming bounty but this 20th anniversary remake looks like it’ll fill the void nicely. If you’re an old bastard like me and remember the fun of the original release, you’re probably keen to revisit Racoon City with the classic gameplay that make the RE series so popular.

Anthem (XBOne, PS4, and PC)

February 22nd 2019

There’s never been a good Iron Man game but imagine if there was? Now imagine that Iron Man game mixed with Destiny 2. That seems to be what we can expect from Anthem and we’re optimistic. Fingers crossed this new IP can deliver.

Crackdown 3 (XBOne and PC)

February 22nd 2019

If Anthem doesn’t do it for you then, on the same day, Crackdown 3 is released. Sure, Crackdown 2 wasn’t good but the first game was a riot. This new one seem to capture the fun of the first… also, you get to be Terry Crews. Who wouldn’t want to be Terry Crews?

Tom Clancy’s The Division 2 (XBOne, PS4, and PC)

March 15th 2019

The first Division was great. A few bugs/glitches that were exploited by many in the early days (myself included) but it was still some solid gaming. With any luck the sequel will include some of the elements that were intended for the first game but never made it. We’ve just signed up for the Beta so the excitement is building even though it’s nearly a year away.

That’s it for part 1. Part 2 will be all about the games announced at E3 but with no solid release date

-Baz

Sun’s out, guns out!

Or taps aff for those that lack the “guns”… apparently

Summer is here and more skin is showing. As such, it’s a busy time for Scottish tattooists. People see their bare skin and want it a different colour than the translucent white-blue it is. The ironic thing is, people don’t treat their skin (especially during the summer) in a way that is conducive to getting tattooed.

Rather than pimping things around the studio, I thought I’d talk about how to look after yourself and your skin so your summer tattoo looks amazing for many summers to come. We do our best to saturate our tattoos and give you art that you can proudly wear for the rest of your life but there are a few simple things that you, the client, can do to make our jobs easier.

1. Stay hydrated

Your doctor/dietitian has been telling you this for years; drink some bloody water, mate (or maybe that’s just how my Australian doctor worded it)! Sure, beer has water in it, coffee also has water in it… most liquids have elements of water in it, but nothing is better for the skin than drinking pure H20. Try and drink a bunch of water in the weeks leading up to your tattoo. Your body will like you and hydrated skin soaks up the ink better.

2. Avoid booze

I’m not saying go the whole summer without a pint. Shit, I’m enjoying a beer as I type this! I just mean in the few days leading up to your tattoo. There is nothing better than sitting in the sun, in some beer garden or park, and sinking several beers; I get it. That said, if you have a big day of tattooing ahead of you, give your alcoholic beverage a miss for a few days before your booking. The buzz those pints give you only lasts few hours but that tattoo you’re getting is there for the rest of your life. Alcohol dehydrates you and thins the blood; both of which are bad for tattooing. Just think how good that pint will taste after a full day of tattooing!

3. Stay out of the tanning bed

We’re in Scotland, we don’t see a lot of sun. It’s summer and you want to have the glow that only a tanning bed can provide in this country. As an Australian I was amused by the number of tanning salons when i first moved here but i get it. That said, they dry out and kill the top layer of skin. Tattooing on dead, dry skin means the ink isn’t getting to the healthy skin that will hold the ink long term. This is also why you should…

4. Stay out of the sun

Okay, the sun coming out in Scotland isn’t that common and when it does come out, everyone wants to soak it up. By all means, get out there and enjoy it. While you’re enjoying it, if you’ve got a body part that is going to be tattooed in the near future, smother it is sun screen, cover it in clothing, do whatever it takes to avoid burning it. It’s all well and good for me (who grew up with all the sunshine) to say stay out of it, but you really should keep skin that is about to get tattooed (or is freshly tattooed) away from UV rays.

5. Exfoliate

This isn’t essential, and isn’t just a summer thing, but the skin is in a better condition if you use a loofah and some exfoliating soap to clean the body part for the week leading up to your tattoo booking. It’ll remove all the dead skin and your artist will have the best possible canvas to work with when they are tattooing you. I personally swear by it, and have had the quickest healings since I started doing it.

Right, that’s it. I don’t wanna sound like yer mum but I do want you to have the best tattooing experience and go home with the best possible tattoo. By all means, have a great summer, but if you have a booking with us (or any other studio) please take this into consideration.

Click here to get yourself some wonderful summer tattoos (what, you thought I wouldn’t pimp us at least once?).

-Baz